Love and Anger
by Red Bess Rackham
Summary: He's changing and becoming more angry everyday. She has to tell him, and she believes their love is unfailing... but how will he feel about it? Set between Episode 2 & 3. AU. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: Don't own Star Wars, because otherwise I would filthy rich and not wasting my time here. ;)

A/n: This was a totally random thing that just like popped into my head and wouldn't leave in the same lunch hour I thought of it, so it just kind of poured out into the keys, and this is what you got.It is set b/t ep 2 & 3, although I have no idea what ep 3 will involve (other than the obvious Anakin turns to the dark side stuff). This is a little bitty bit on Padme and Anakin in b/t ep's. HOWEVER, please note: Anakin's character I took from all the episode three trailers I've seen (extremely angry and dangerous) so that's where I'm getting my characterization from. THUS, I label this a partial AU.

* * *

Padme could see it happening. Every day it grew worse, and she didn't know what to tell him, or how to tell him. The way he was about everything was increasingly frightening.

She bit her lip and stared out across the familiar Lake, standing on the cool shaded balcony on which Anakin had first kissed her. What she would never admit was that she had been wishing she could kiss him when he kissed her first. The breeze was light, the day sunny and fresh, which only contrasted her feelings all the more.

She was married to him, and yet she would get a prick of fear as well as a wave of love whenever she saw him. How could that be? He was a Jedi, and he was her husband. That was something no one yet knew. It was a complicated secret that was only about to get more complicated.

The galaxy was imploding, the peace and government she'd always stood for and defended was breaking apart. The Clone Wars were raging, and the beloved, respected Jedi were disappearing at an alarming rate. The worries of her home world of Naboo, and the worries of what would happen as the War progressed weighed as heavily on her mind as issues developing in her secret home life.

She set a hand on her stomach, tightly wrapped in a beautiful, kimino-like outfit. Brilliantly red, trimmed with soft gold, it stood out against the earthy tones of the Lake retreat. Tears welled in her eyes, and she turned them to her stomach. She could hide it for a little while, and then it would be far too noticeable.

"Padme?"

At his voice, she received the familiar thrill of love, accompanied by the newly present stab of fear. The way his eyes were becoming darker scared her. He approached her slowly, his customary Jedi robes billowing slightly behind him.

She swallowed and blinked the tears from her eyes. "Anakin." She forced a small smile and he hugged her tightly, as if he never wanted to let go – the way he always hugged her.

"I need to talk to you." He said as they slowly pulled from their embrace, his voice low and serious.

Fear trickled through her and she forced it out of her emotions. '_You love him. You are not afraid of him.'_ She swallowed again, and kept that forced small smile on her face. "Yes?"

"You can stop smiling." He grumbled. "I know its fake."

Her smile disappeared in an instant. Sometimes it didn't feel right to have a Jedi for a husband – besides that it was forbidden – but that he knew when she wasn't being genuine. There was a small silence between them as Anakin walked to the smooth railing on the balcony edge. Padme hated how awkward it felt.

"You have a secret from me." He said simply and finally. His voice was neutral, though edged with cold.

Padme swallowed and glanced down at her stomach, her hand instinctively resting there. _'He knows…_' she thought and licked her lips as she raised her eyes to his back. _'Now is as good a time as any…'_

"Anakin…" she started, her voice soft and caring. "I'm…" she paused and took a breath. She'd rehearsed the speech a million times over in her head, but now that she was saying it, she'd forgot it and the words were significantly harder to spit out. Being strong and diplomatic like the Queen she used to be, Padme gathered her courage – or at least pretended she had courage. "I'm withchild."

In spite of herself, she winced, waiting for his reaction. She saw his shoulders tense and square back. He raised his head, his back still to her. He said nothing.

She licked her lips and approached him slowly, unsure of his reaction. Weeks ago she would not have been so worried about his reaction. But lately, whenever he came back from some mission, he seemed angrier and darker. He yelled at her more often without meaning to. His eyes were becoming more frighteningly dark, and his face more shaded with things she'd rarely ever seen before. The way he had acted on Tatoonie after he'd found his mother, and admitted he'd slaughtered a clan of Tusken Raiders – that was what he was becoming more and more like everyday. She had every reason to fear him, but knew she shouldn't. After all, she loved him and married him – through better and for worse.

"Anakin?" she touched his arm with her soft hands.

Immediately, as if by reaction to something unpleasant or unusually hot, Anakin pulled his arm away. He took a step to the side, away from her.

She hadn't expected this.

"With… child?" Anakin finally said, his voice shaking.

"Yes." Padme said quietly.

"I don't understand." He said suddenly, barely after she'd answered him.

"Anakin, I – "

"What do you mean!" he said loudly, cutting her off and sounding angry, startling her.

"I'm p-pregnant!" she said, tears filling her eyes, and her voice trembling like her lip.

"I know _that_! How – can – " He pounded his fist on the railing. And stalked away from her.

"Anakin! Please wait!"

He stopped abruptly, seemed to count to ten, and then whipped around, his cape swirling behind him. "Do you _know_ what this means?"

Padme swallowed and looked at him pleadingly. "Please, calm down – " she started to say, and was cut off again.

Anakin strode toward her alarmingly. "Calm down? _Calm down?_" His eyes were blazing with terrifying anger, and Padme once again again found herself afraid of him, and desperately wishing he wouldn't get so angry over things. "Its over! I'm over!"

"What do you – "

He grabbed at his own hair, and then flopped his arms to his sides. "We'll be found out! This something we can't hide!"

Padme ran through her mind all the things she had thought of to reply to this type of reaction. "I could stay on Naboo – "

"And when you're needed in the Court? Remember you're a Senator, here!"

"I could resign – "

"Oh, yes. Let's give up our lives together, Padme. You quit doing what you love, and I'll quit doing what I was _born_ to do – "

"This is not all my fault!" Padme suddenly shouted, and immediately wished she hadn't.

Anakin turned a gaze on Padme that she wished she had never seen and would never see again. It chilled her deeply. His hand snapped on to her forearm. That rage was still in his eyes. She was extremely afraid of what he would do while under the control of his fiery anger and did the only thing she could do. She wound up with the other hand and slapped him.

A large red hand print was becoming visible on his tan cheek. He looked stunned, and confused. The angry mask was melting. She didn't give him a chance to say anything. She ripped her arm from his grip and stared him in the eye.

"Its not all my fault." She said quietly, and as dangerously as she could. "If you are going to continue this way. I can't be with you. Ever." She paused to let that sink in. "I suggest you think about that."

She brushed past him and headed inside, her heart and eyes burning.

* * *

Anakin stared at the Lake, trying to come to terms with what just happened. Padme was pregnant. He had yelled at her. He had _grabbed her arm_. She had slapped him. 

He sunk down onto the marble floor and put his head in his hands.

How could he? What was wrong with him? Why was he so _not_ in control whenever he was angry? He could feel it coming, and as a Jedi, he knew he had to stop it. And yet, it always overtook him. These rageful interludes were becoming more frequent and more severe. What _was_ wrong with him?

He'd have to have a talk with Chancellor Palpatine – the only man who ever truly understood him – very, very soon.

* * *

A/n: I'm sorry if either Anakin or Padme seem out of character, again, this was just a totally random thing that flew out of my head into the computer, so ya. Please gimme a review, I need 'em, and if you thought was totally dumb/over dramatic/weird etc, then I promise my other random drabbles will be better (I hope, lol!).When you review, I don't care if you hated it, just please don't FLAME me, and don't swear, please. :) Oh! And who SO can't wait to see Episode 3! 


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